I See Your Birthday Girl and Raise You One Drunken Rapper

Miss Ann, in honor of your birthday, I have a very special transcript for you. One that I think we can all agree provided us with many hours of laughter and a few bouts of frustration. Here are some of those lovely highlights! Drunken teenager rappers are quite a chatty breed......

Crutchurtle says:
oh Jesus.
Tiffers says:
JESUS!
Duct Tape says:
CHRITS!

Duct Tape says:
I'm writing in windows and not knowing who I'm talking to!
Duct Tape says:
IT'S CRAZY !

Duct Tape says:
It's the Bizzlerbler!
Duct Tape says:
the Bizzlerbah rooni
Duct Tape says:
the big Bizzler
Duct Tape says:
the twizzler
Duct Tape says:
the bizzy bee of a twizzler
Duct Tape says:
yo mon

Duct Tape says:
I should make one for you
Duct Tape says:
TIFFY IS SO SPIFFY! SHE'S A SWIFFER OF A GAL! AND SHE CLEANS THE FLOORS, BUT SHE STILL SMELLS GOOD!
Tiffers says:
when do I ever clean floors?
Bizzler says:
Tiffers, swiffer....I get it
Duct Tape says:
BizzlerBY BIBBLY THE BUBBLE! I LOVE HER CUZ SHE HAS TWIZZLERS! AND SHE
SHARES CUZ SHE'S AWESOMELY BizzlerBLY WITH A WIBBLE!
Duct Tape says:
MARA RHYMES WITH SARA BUT NOT REALLY AT THE SAME TIME! AND SHE HAS A HIPPY MIDDLE NAME BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER! AND SHE LIKES TO HOWL AT THE MOON!
Duct Tape says:
BUT NOT REALLY!
Duct Tape says:
SWIFFER LIKES TO MAKE OUT WITH TWIZZLER!
Crutchurtle says:
what?
Tiffers says:
well we're married
Crutchurtle says:
I howl at the moon?
Duct Tape says:
AND TOGETHER THEY ARE A SWIZZLER !
Duct Tape says:
AND THEN THEY HAD Crutchurtle WHO IS HALF WEREWORLF BECAUSE I SAID SO
Bizzler says:
*DIES*
Tiffers says:
Wereworlf
Duct Tape says:
SO THEY ARE SWIZZLARA!
Duct Tape says:
AND THEY LIVE IN A TIPI!
Crutchurtle says:
I'm like, half werewolf, half that guy from Star Trek.
Duct Tape says:
BECAUSE THERE'S BETTER ACCESS!
Duct Tape says:
TO THE MOON!
Duct Tape says:
BUT SWIFFER STILL SMELLS GOOD
Duct Tape says:
CUZ SHE CLEANS THE FLOORS EVERY DAY
Duct Tape says:
AND THEY EAT TWIZZLERS
Tiffers says:
apparently caps are the theme tonight
Duct Tape says:
AND THEN THE ACCIDENTALLY EAT BIZZLER
Crutchurtle says:
Does anyone here think she will remember this all in the morning? If you do, raise your hand.
Crutchurtle says:
*sits on her hands*
Bizzler says:
DONT EAT ME!
Tiffers says:
*is still cracking up*
Duct Tape says:
AND THEN THE TIPI FALLS DOWN
Duct Tape says:
AND SWIFFLER IS TRAMPLED BY WEREWOLFS NEW PACK
Crutchurtle says:
oh no!
Duct Tape says:
CUZ SHE NEVER REALLY LIKED TWIZZLERS
Duct Tape says:
OR SPIFFERS SMELL
Crutchurtle says:
ooooh
Tiffers says:
you killed me?
Duct Tape says:
mwahahahaah
Crutchurtle says:
no, my new pack did

Duct Tape says:
I LOOOVEEE water
Duct Tape says:
I love water so much
Duct Tape says:
water is so good
Crutchurtle says:
you should drink lots of it
Duct Tape says:
Bizzlerbly has big sunglasses

Duct Tape says:
it's awesome!
Duct Tape says:
I love water!
Tiffers says:
DUCT TAPE!
Duct Tape says:
but I love coke more
Crutchurtle says:
yes, I want you to read the label back to me on the asprin
Duct Tape says:
TIFF!
Tiffers says:
focus!
Duct Tape says:
focused boss

Duct Tape says:
no wait I do!
Duct Tape says:
but it's over there
Duct Tape says:
and I'm over here
Crutchurtle says:
you need to go get it
Duct Tape says:
and that's uncool
Crutchurtle says:
I need you to read it to me
Duct Tape says:
but it's dark
Tiffers says:
just do it quick
Duct Tape says:
and my wash is hanging up
Crutchurtle says:
hurry!
Duct Tape says:
and my roomies asleep
Crutchurtle says:
I need it!
Tiffers says:
it will all be over soon
Duct Tape Girl says:
no you don't!
Crutchurtle says:
please!
Duct Tape says:
you liar!
Crutchurtle says:
yes I do
Duct Tape says:
I can't send it to you!
Crutchurtle says:
I need you to read the label to me
Tiffers says:
Omg she is a child
Duct Tape says:
I don't have any packaging
Crutchurtle says:
you don't have to send it to me.
Crutchurtle says:
I just need you to read me the label
Crutchurtle says:
and take two
Duct Tape says:
well you can't get it through the internet
Tiffers says:
with the water
Duct Tape says:
everyone knows that
Tiffers says:
it will make you feel better
Crutchurtle says:
I know.
Tiffers says:
lots better
Crutchurtle says:
but.... it interacts with my meds
Crutchurtle says:
so I need you to read me the label
Crutchurtle says:
so I know what it says on there
Crutchurtle says:
please?
Bizzler says:
She's rhyming my name
Tiffers says:
fuck
Crutchurtle says:
*sigh*
Bizzler says:
I'm a smibbler
Duct Tape says:
Advil
Crutchurtle says:
okay
Crutchurtle says:
take the advil
Duct Tape says:
100 Ibuprofen tablets
Crutchurtle says:
two of them
Duct Tape says:
200 mg
Tiffers says:count out two
Duct Tape says:
pain reliever/fever reducer
Duct Tape says:
read and keep carton for complete warnings and information
Crutchurtle says:
thank you so much Duct Tape!!
Duct Tape says:
see also http://www.advil.com/
Crutchurtle says:
hey, could you take two of those?
Duct Tape says:
uses
Tiffers says:
Do you still have your water hun?
Crutchurtle says:
with a big glass of water?
Crutchurtle says:
it's okay, I don't need the uses.
Crutchurtle says:
I just needed that thing about pain reliever, there.
Crutchurtle says:
but thank you!
Crutchurtle says:
could you take two of them for me?
Duct Tape says:
temproraily relieves minor aches and pains due to headache, muscular aches, menstrual cramps, the common cold, backache, toothache, minor pain of arthritis
Duct Tape says:
temporarily reduces fever
Duct Tape says:
directions
Tiffers says:
perfect! Now you just have to take two for Tiffy and Crutchurtle
Duct Tape Girl says:
do not take more than directed the smallest effective does should be used
Duct Tape says:
do not take longer than 10 days, unless directed by a doctor
Duct Tape says:
my hands are cramping
Crutchurtle says:
that was all I needed
Crutchurtle says:
thank you!!
Crutchurtle says:
could you take two of those though?
Tiffers says:
did you take any yet hun?
Crutchurtle says:
two advil?
Bizzler says:
Take the damn pills Duct Tape!

Duct Tape says:
I got you Bizzlerber
Duct Tape says:
I told Maddy that you aren't pimply
Duct Tape says:
even though you do have big sunglasses
Duct Tape says:
they're just for the sun
Bizzler says:
Hey, thanks!
Duct Tape says:
not to cover anything
Tiffers says:
okay but why would Bizzy be pimply?
Bizzler says:
No idea.
Tiffers says:
well good stuff

Bizzler says:
BOOZEY MCDRUNKERTON!

Tiffers says:
don't be mean to your wife
Tiffers says:
I'll say spousal abuse
Bizzler says:
*calls the spousal abuse hotline*
Tiffers says:
*calls faster*
Tiffers says:
I wonder if she fell asleep
Crutchurtle says:
1-800-BEAT-HER, This is Crutchurtle , who's been beating your ass today?
Tiffers says:
MY wife
Crutchurtle says:
for what, ma'am?
Tiffers says:
she beats me with a paddle
Crutchurtle says:
did you not do the dishes?
Bizzler says:
Lies
Crutchurtle says:
or make her pot pie?
Tiffers says:
I did everything I even put out!
Crutchurtle says:
okay, okay, just a moment please.
Crutchurtle says:
*clacks on her keyboard*
Crutchurtle says:
Okay, now, are you barefoot and or pregnant?
Tiffers says:
both
Crutchurtle says:
do you happen to chain smoke?
Bizzler says:
WE'RE PREGNANT?? AND YOU HAVENT TOLD ME???
Tiffers says:
maybe
Crutchurtle says:
what would you gage as your alcohol intake?
Tiffers says:
the question is what wouldn't I gage as my alcohol intake if you know what I mean
Crutchurtle says:
mhmm, I do.
Crutchurtle says:
Now, one last question.
Crutchurtle says:
Do you or your wife happen to run a meth lab in a basement, attic, spare room, or tornado shelter?
Bizzler says:
Lie. Lie right now.
Bizzler says:
Do it
Tiffers says:
no
Bizzler says:
Good wife
Crutchurtle says:
ohhhhhhh I'm sorry......
Crutchurtle says:
you JUST missed qualifying for help.
Crutchurtle says:
But, LIVE, FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!

Duct Tape says:
damn I just gone and spilled muh drink

So, there are some of the grand highlights, and that was just from my end of the conversation, I have no idea what everyone else received! Oh, and I realize that the second to last exchange was just the sober people, but yeah, it's why we are going to hell, so we might as well share!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANN!!!!